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I'M NOT RUDE I JUST HAVE THE BALLS TO SAY WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING

YOUR APOLOGY NEEDS TO BE AS LOUD AS YOUR DISRESPECT WAS

Sorry, I can’t come to work tomorrow. I’ve gotta teach my facial expressions how to use their inside voice.

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Sorry, I can’t make it to work tomorrow. Mechanic says I clearly have a blown motivator, loose screws, no filter, & my tank’s empty.

To the ones who look at me from the sky i miss you more than you’ll ever know

when i told you i was normal i may have exaggerated slightly

I heard they don’t like me i hope they heard i don’t give a fuck

Asshole dad and smartass daughter best friends for life

IS IT JUST ME OR DO IDIOTS MULTIPLY QUICKER THAN NORMAL PEOPLE

I never dreamed I’d end up being a granddaughter of a freakin’ awesome grandpa, but here I am living the dream.

Yes, I am a spoiled granddaughter But not yours I am the treasure of an awesome grandpa Yes, I love sarcasm & smartass But he loves me and treats me like a princess You'd better not hurt me

Thinking I’m just a spoiled child Was your first mistake I’m a spoiled daughter of a crazy dad He’s a bit crazy & scares me sometimes

When Mom says “No,” ask Grandma! When Grandma says “No,” call in the boss! That’s right... Great Grandma. Great Grandma’s rule.

I get my attitude from my freakin’ awesome grandma. She’s has anger issues & a bit crazy but she knows more than she says, thinks more than she speaks & notices more than you realize.

I'm not a perfect daughter but my crazy dad loves me and that is enough

You can’t scare me. i have a crazy daughter. she has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people, and i’m not afraid to use her.

I get my attitude from my freakin’ awesome mom she is a bit crazy & scares me sometimes but she is a perfect mixture of sweetheart & warrior i love her

I GET MY ATTITUDE FROM MY FREAKIN’ AWESOME DAD. HE IS A BIT CRAZY & SCARES ME SOMETIMES. HE HAS A BACKBONE MADE OF STEEL AND A HEART MADE OF GOLD.

Yes I’m a stubborn son But my freaking awesome mom loves me ...and that is enough She’s a bit crazy & scares me sometimes But she knows more than she says Thinks more than she speaks & notices more than you realize

Thinking I’m just a spoiled child was your first mistake. I’m a spoiled granddaughter of a crazy Nana. She’s a bit crazy & scares me sometimes, but she knows more than she says, thinks more than she speaks, & notices more than you realize.

Grandpa knows everything if he doesn't know he makes stuff up really fast

grandpa one who breaks all the rules and loves every second of it

Thinking I’m just a spoiled child was your first mistake. I’m a spoiled son of a crazy mom. She’s a bit crazy and scares me sometimes, but she knows more than she says, thinks more than she speaks and notices more than you realize.

My kids accuse me of having a favorite child, which is ridiculous because i don’t like any of them. my grandkids are my favorite.

I've been called a lot of names in my lifetime but grandpa is my favorite

Sorry, I'm a spoiled husband but not yours. I am the property of a freaking awesome grumpy old wife.

Yes, I am a spoiled grandson but not yours. I am the property of a freaking awesome grumpy old grandma.

Thinking I’m just a spoiled child was your first mistake. I’m a spoiled granddaughter of a Jesus-loving grandma. She’s a bit crazy & scares me sometimes.

Yes, I’m a spoiled son But not yours I’m proud to be raised by a freaking awesome mom She’s a little crazy & scares me sometimes But she’s also my biggest protector No matter how old I get I will always be her little boy

Short girls look so sweet & cute until you piss them off... then they're like a chipmunk with rabies

Oh you hate me? join the club! there are weekly meetings at the corner of fuck you st and kiss my ass blvd

I hate being sexy but i’m a chubby bearded man so i can’t help it

When mom says “no,” ask grandma! When grandma says “no,” call in the boss. That’s right... great grandma. Great grandma’s rule.

Don’t tell me I haven’t got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest & I can guarantee they’re a lot bigger than yours.

It was a lot more fun being 20 in the 70s than it is being 70 in the 20s