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Back off, I’ve got enough to deal with today without having to make your death look like an accident.

I annoy stupid people and you are looking a bit upset right now.

Better worry about your own sins because God ain’t gonna ask you about mine.

Aging may have slowed me down, but it is yet to shut me up.

I’m not clumsy. I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

Some grandmas cuss and will kick your ass if you mess with their grandkids. It’s me. I’m some grandmas.

Nope, I can’t go to Hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me.

When I die, I know one of my grandkids will lean in my coffin and whisper, “Can I play a game on your phone?”

I may seem quiet and reserved, but if you mess with my son, I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place.

Me and Grandma are more than besties. I am her accomplice and she is my alibi!

You can’t scare me. I have a crazy grandma who happens to cuss a lot. She has anger issues & a serious dislike for stupid people.

You can’t scare me. I have a crazy daughter. She has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people, and I’m not afraid to use her.

I am a lucky son because I’m raised by a freaking awesome mom. She’s a bit crazy & scares me sometimes, but she knows more than she says, thinks more than she speaks

I am a lucky daughter. I have a crazy mom who happens to cuss a lot. She has anger issues & a serious dislike for stupid people.

Thinking I’m just a spoiled child was your first mistake. I’m a spoiled grandson of a crazy grandma. She is also a grumpy old woman.

Sorry, I am already taken by a sexy & crazy girl. She’s stubborn, messy & a brat at times. She’s clumsy, loud & a bit silly sometimes.

Smartass daughter. Hated by many, loved by plenty. Heart on her sleeve, fire in her soul & a mouth she can’t control.

I am a lucky daughter because I’m raised by a freaking awesome dad. He’s a bit crazy & scares me sometimes, but he knows more than he says, thinks more than he speaks

You can’t scare me. I have a crazy grandma. She is also a grumpy old woman. She has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people, but she treats me like a prince.

Thinking I’m just a spoiled child was your first mistake. I’m a spoiled granddaughter of a crazy grandpa. He is also a grumpy old man.

Warning: I have a crazy grandpa and I’m not afraid to use him.

I’m called Papa because I’m way too cool to be called Grandfather.

My best friend may not be my sister by blood, but she’s my sister by heart.

Yes, I’m a stubborn son but my freaking awesome mom loves me… …and that is enough. She’s a bit crazy & scares me sometimes.

Sorry, my heart only beats for my freaking awesome wife who drives me crazy and treats me like a king. She has anger issues & a serious dislike for stupid people.

Sorry, my heart only beats for my freaking awesome wife who drives me crazy and treats me like a king. She has anger issues & a serious dislike for stupid people.

I found my love when I found my spoiled wife who makes my world beautiful. She’s a bit crazy & scares me sometimes.

Yes! I’m a spoiled husband but not yours. I am the property of a freaking awesome wife. She’s a bit crazy & scares me sometimes.

Sorry, ladies, I’m married to a freaking awesome wife. She’s a bit crazy & scares me sometimes. But I love her & she is my life.

Sorry, my heart only beats for my freaking awesome wife who drives me crazy and treats me like a king. She has anger issues & a serious dislike for stupid people.

I am a lucky daughter. I have a crazy mom who happens to cuss a lot. She has anger issues & a serious dislike for stupid people and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

Yes! I am a spoiled daughter but not yours. I am the treasure of an awesome mom. She has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people.

Thinking I’m just a spoiled child was your first mistake. I’m a spoiled son of a crazy mom. She has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people.

Yes, I’m a spoiled son but not yours. I’m proud to be raised by a freaking awesome mom. She’s a little crazy & scares me sometimes.

I don't like to call it revenge returning the favor sounds nicer

The fact that there's a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.