Quotes Funny (1222 Designs)

I maybe getting older but that does not mean I have to be boring and act my age.

I’ve reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew.

I’m pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me as she paints her nails, rolls her eyes and mutters under her breath,

When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard work, I’m no longer young.

I watch people and wonder how some of them found their way out of the birth canal.

Just because I said “I know how to behave” doesn’t mean I’m going to.

Growing old is hard work... The mind says “yes” but the body says “what the hell are you thinking”.

Sometimes I sit quietly & wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum then I take a good look around at every one and realize... maybe I am

I maybe getting older but that does not mean i have to be boring and act my age

We've been friends for so long i can't remember which one of us is the bad influence

It’s all shits & giggles until someone giggles & shits.

I am a multitasker. I can listen, ignore & forget all at the same time.

I’m the kind of woman that when my feet hit the floor each morning the devil says “oh crap she’s up”

DON'T MESS with me MY GRANDMA IS CRAZY AND SHE WILL SLAP YOU SO HARD Even google won't be able to FIND YOU

GRANDPA NOT AS LEAN BUT STILL AS MEAN SO DON'T MESS WITH MY GRANDDAUGHTER

They call me aunt because partner in crime makes me sound like a bad influence.

I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

If payback’s a bitch and revenge is sweet then i’m the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet

I don’t have to say no i’m grandma

I'm the crazy grandma everyone warned you about mess with my grandkids my angels you better run for your life because i'm coming after you & hell's coming with me

If i had 12 guns and the government takes 6 how many guns do i have left? 47. because i lied about having 12.

Please tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes thank you

When i die i know one of my grandkids will lean in my coffin and whisper “can i play a game on your phone?”

gunpa like a normal grandpa but more fun and owns guns

My goal is to be that old person that everyone is afraid to take out in public.

I never dreamed that one day I'd become a grumpy old man, but here I am killing it.

I'm a grumpy old lady. If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask a stupid question, and make sure I had my coffee!!!

If you think I'm a bitch, you are right. If you think I'm bossy, correct again. But if you think I'm gonna put up with your shit, you got it twisted.

Dear Santa, I tried to be good, but I guess I take after my Grandma

If I’m spoiled, it’s my grandma’s fault. Saw it. Liked it. Told Grandma! Got it

My boobs are big because I keep all my rage d there

Sorry i am already taken by a sexy & crazy girl she's stubborn, messy & a brat at times she's clumsy

Short women stopped growing because we reached perfection

Weekly update for those who can't stand me i'm still freaking breathing

To my dear, son-in-law i didn't give you the gift of life i gave you my gorgeous daughter thank you