Quotes Funny (1222 Designs)

I’m real tired of babysitting my mom’s grandkids right now.

I’m sorry, call me old fashioned, but I think shorts should be longer than your vagina.

I don’t need anger management classes You need shut the fuck up classes

Some grandmas cuss and will kick your ass if you mess with their grandkids -It’s me, I’m some grandmas.

I will not be any man’s Half-time, down-time, spare-time, or sometimes So don’t waste my time

Smart assy daughter Hated by many Loved by plenty Heart on her sleeve Fire in her soul & a mouth she can’t control

I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else My parents taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate

Back off I have anger issues A serious dislike for stupid people And a mouth I can’t control

We werent sisters by birth But we knew from the start We were put on this earth to be sisters be heart

I don’t live my life to please anyone. I don’t care what anyone thinks If you don’t like me don’t talk to me

It is simple Don’t mess with my son Trust me, I’m the mom you don’t want to cross Cause you have no idea what I’m capable of

I ain’t apologizing for shit I do when I’m mad You should have left me the fuck alone

Being an asshole is easy... But, being a bitch takes style!!!

I am putting myself in timeout until I can play nice with others This may take a while because stupid people are everywhere

I’m not spoiled I’m just loved, protected and well taken care of by my husband Thankful for him

I have red hair because God knew I needed a warning label

Lets get one thing straight I don’t have anger issues..

Life is like a dick. Sometimes it’s up... Sometimes it’s down... But it won’t be hard forever.

I refuse to apologize for a being a bitch No one has ever apologized to me for treating me like shit and bringing the bitch out in me

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel

I’m not sarcastic I just have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking

I always thought my mom was crazy And now I realize it was me I’m the one that drove her crazy I totally get it now

I have OCD syndrome Old... cranky... and dangerous

I’m part of the generation:

Don’t underestimate cranky short women. We have to hop on counters to get stuff. Don’t think we can’t hop on you like a spider monkey.

I’d rather spend time with a rough around the edges sinner than a well-polished hypocrite.

I don’t care how old I get. If I’m in a and see a toy with “Try me” on it, I’m pushing those buttons.

Back in my day, kids didn’t talk back to their parents because they had a mom with a wooden spoon and a dad that wore a belt.

Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum. Then I take a good look around at everyone and realize... maybe I am.

Sometimes I sit quietly & wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum. Then I take a good look around at everyone and realize... maybe I am.

Men lie so much I’m starting to believe that Adam bit the apple, blamed it on Eve. That’s why the Adam’s apple is stuck in their throat.

Maybe I was raised wrong, but I was taught if you wanted something, you work for it.

I used to think our parents were so strict, but watching these kids today, I think our parents saved our lives.

If we switched back to cursive and stick shift vehicles, we could cripple an entire generation.

I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

It’s funny how you’re nice to my face. It’s hilarious how you talk crap behind my back, and it’s downright comical that you think I’m unaware.