Coffee Mugs (778)

I'm not grumpy I'm just a Retired Man who's been Awake Since 5

Honey Do List 1. fix the sink 2. fix the door 3. fix the fence 4. Hide in the garage

Good men still exist I know because I Married One he's grumpy, stubborn And All Mine

I said I Do I didn't know it meant Do Everything she asks

Man Cave Rules 1. it's my cave 2. see rule 1 No Exceptions

don't let the cardigan fool you I run the Bingo Hall like a Mob Boss

I have one rule Stay off My Lawn that includes you Squirrels

I married a man who owns Every Tool and can't find A Single One

Ask me about The Good Old Days then cancel Your Afternoon

I have a Heart of Gold a mouth like a Trucker and grandkids worth Going To Jail For

I'm a man of few words No is one of Them

Yes I'll lend you my tools right after you sign This Contract In Blood

At my age I've seen it all done it all heard it all I just Can't Remember Any Of It

Proud member of the Spoil Them Rotten and send them Home Club

I'm not saying I'd go to jail for my grandkids I'm saying I Already Packed A Bag

You touch my Recliner you meet my Bad Side and I have Two Of Those

I baked you cookies and I can Bury You in the Backyard Both Are True

I don't need therapy I just need My Garage And Silence

my morning routine coffee three pills and a Bad Mood Till Noon

I married My Best Friend now I'm stuck with Him Forever and I'd do it Again

If I can't fix it with Duct Tape it's not Broken Enough

Grandparents are just parents who finally Stopped Caring

I'm a Grumpy Old Man my sarcasm comes free but my patience Costs Extra

Legend has Retired but the Bad Attitude stays on duty

I'm not old I'm Vintage and Rare and you can't Afford Me

Not A Morning Person not an Afternoon Person basically just A Nap Person

my happy place is the Hardware Store my sad place Is The Checkout

Electrician Rates $50 an hour $75 if you watch $100 if you help $200 If You Tried It First

Mechanic Rates $80 an hour $100 if you watch $150 If You Tell Me How To Do It

I'm a Grumpy Old Mechanic I'll fix your car but not Your Attitude

I'm a Farmer I get up early work all day And Still Can't Afford Retirement

Some guys chase women I chase Cows That Got Out Again

Measure twice cut once then Cuss Three Times

while you're hiding from the storm I'm Climbing Into It Lineman

These hands built your House your road And Your Bad Back

I'm in HVAC I make people hot when they're cold And Cold When They're Rude