Trending Funny Quotes & Family Apparel

sorry for what i said yesterday i had two white monsters and i let it create a third

if we are in a don’t laugh situation do not look over at me

work made us coworkers but our potty mouths & inappropriate conversations made us friends

“who’s your hardest kid?” my mother in law’s kid

I asked god for an angel he sent me my smartass daughter

You can’t scare me i have a crazy bestie who happens to cuss a lot she has anger issues & a serious dislike for stupid people mess with me she will slap you so hard even google won’t be able to find you

I never dreamed i’d grow up to be a spoiled wife of a grumpy old husband but here i am, killin’ it

The dumbest thing you can possibly do is piss off my mom she will open the gates of hell & escort your ass right on in & she will do it with a smile on her face

If you mess with the big sister then there is always a younger crazier sister behind her that you don’t wanna mess with

Behind every crazy wife is a husband who made her that way

Be nice to me my grandpa is crazy he is also a grumpy old man he has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people you hurt me and they’ll never find your body

Don’t piss off old people. The older we get, the less “life in prison” is a deterrent.

Aging has slowed me down, but it hasn’t shut me up.

Today I’m doing nothing because I started doing it yesterday and I wasn’t finished, and I’m no quitter.

I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

People born in the fifties had the best music, awesome cars, drive-in theaters & happy days! And we aren’t even that old yet, we’re just that cool.

Don't piss off old people. The older we get, the less “life in prison” is a deterrent.

Built in the forties and unred Some parts still in working order

I wanted to go jogging but proverbs 28:1 says “the wicked run when no one is chasing them.” so there’s that...

I am a cheek smooching present bearing cookie baking always caring grandkid spoiling forever loving grandma

The only thing i love more than being a mom and grandma is being a great grandma

Even when my grandchildren are not in my arms, or in my home, they are always in my heart!

When god made grandkids he gave me the best

People born in the fifties had the best music, awesome cars, drive-in theaters & happy days! and we aren't even that old yet, we're just that cool

I can’t be held responsible for what my face does when you talk

So... there’s this girl who kinda stole my heart she calls me daddy

I want to be so full of christ that if a mosquito bites me it flies away singing there is power in the blood!

My parents spanked me as a child as a result i now suffer from a psychological condition known as "respect for others"

I want my daughter to be kind but i also want her to know that she can throw punch someone if she needs to

If you wanna argue, contact my daughter she handles all that business

I can't argue with my wife she's older than me and old people don't listen

I'm a proud dad of a freaking awesome daughter ... yes, she bought me this shirt

My daughter is super awesome and i'm the lucky one because i get to be her momma

I'm a little smart ass short and stout here is my finger here is my mouth when i get all worked up i will shout... piss me off and i'll cuss you out!

Papa was created because grandkids need real heroes

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