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5 things you should know about my sister

I always carry a little crazy with me 'cause you never know when it's gonna come in handy

I don't go crazy i am crazy i just go normal from time to time

I don't have to i don't want to you can't make me i'm retired

I do what i want where i want when i want! as long as my wife says it's ok

Today i'm doing nothing because i started doing it yesterday and i wasn't finished and i'm no quitter

Back off! i have a crazy wife and i'm not afraid to use her

No one needs to be less white black or brown please just focus on being less dumb

My wife loves my meat

There's no place i'd rather be than "beaver valley"

The reason i'm old and wise is because god protected me when i was young and stupid

Of course i talk to god who else can i trust

Sorry ladies i'm married to a freakin' sexy wife she's a bit crazy and scares me sometimes but i am her king she is my whole world i love her forever and always (yes, she bought me this shirt)

Blood stains are red. ultraviolet lights are blue. i watch enough murder shows they'll never find you

Back off i have a crazy sister she has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people and i'm not afraid to use her

How do you sleep at night knowing people don't like you

I'm not the nice sibling i'm the "wtf you looking at" sibling

I don't need anger management people just need to stop pissing me off!

My wife is the coolest sweetest most gorgeous woman i have ever seen she is my best friend and my life

This woman has fought a thousand battles and is still standing has cried a thousand tears and is still smiling has been broken & betrayed but still walks proud this woman is beautiful this woman is humble this woman is me

Back off! i have a crazy wife and i'm not afraid to use her

I'm trying to stop being mean but it's like y'all have to stop being stupid first

I’ll put you in the trunk And help people look for you Don’t test me!

Nope i can't go to hell satan still has a restraining order against me

Some grandmas cuss and will kick your ass if you mess with their grandkids it’s me i’m some grandmas

I have a tattooed daughter just like a normal daughter except much cooler

You can't scare me i have a crazy daughter she has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people and i'm not afraid to use her

you can't scare me i have a crazy grandma who happens to cuss a lot she has anger issues & a serious dislike for stupid people mess with me she will slap you so hard even google won't be able to find you

5 Things you should know about my grandma

Mess with me i fight back mess with my family and they’ll never find your body

When i die i don’t want anybody at my funeral i will come to visit you.

Once you put my meat in your mouth you’re going to want to swallow

It’s not a party until the wiener comes out

I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.

You can’t throw me to the wolves They come when I call

You know my name Not my story You see my smile Not my pain You notice my cuts Not my scars You can read my lips Not my mind