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4 levels of crazy

This getting old is a terrible thing i blacked out for twenty minutes this morning then i realized i’d put my hoodie on backward

A good mood is like a balloon one little prick is all it takes to ruin it

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and zip lining and here i am feeling good about myself because i got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance

You think i care who doesn’t like me? hell my own family doesn’t like me

In my family, we don’t try to hide the crazy, we pass it down from generation to generation

Strangers think i’m quiet my friends think i’m outgoing my best friends know i’m crazy

When you’re best friends it doesn’t matter whose idea it was as long as your alibis match

I’m so old i remember one bathroom for the whole family a phone on the wall no internet, & a tv with rabbit ears & just 3 channels and we still made it

My spirit animal is a grumpy wolf who slaps annoying people

Not in jail not in a mental hospital not in a grave i’d say it’s a good day

Every woman’s dream is that a man will take her in his arms throw her into bed… and clean the whole house while she sleeps

I’m really a wolf this is my human costume

I suffer from that disorder where i speak the truth and it pisses people off

I pulled out a nose hair last night to see if it hurt. judging by how fast my husband woke up screaming, it seemed pretty painful

It’s ok! i’m on 500mgs of fukitol

Short cranky woman hated by many loved by plenty heart on her sleeve fire in her soul and a mouth she can’t control

If you see me talking to myself just move along i’m self employed we’re having a staff meeting

My five moods

For my age i have a lot going for me my eyes are going my knees are going my back is going

let me pour you a tall glass of get over it oh and here’s a straw so you can suck it up

They say with age comes wisdom so therefore i don’t have wrinkles i have wise cracks

I’m a multitasker i can listen ignore and forget all at the same time

Sometimes i feel old but then i realize my sister is older

Don’t mess with old people we didn’t get this age by being stupid

After gossiping about me please pray for me i want to be perfect like you

You are entitled to your opinion but you are not entitled to tell me what mine must be

Ignorance can be educated crazy can be medicated but you can’t fix stupid

I try to avoid drama because the mouth my mama gave me don’t have no filter

I don’t stop when i’m tired i stop when i’m done

When i was young i was poor but after years of hard work i’m no longer young

I talk i smile i laugh too but careful when i’m silent

Talking behind my back simply means you’re smart enough to be afraid to say it to my face

Piss me off again and we play a game called duct, duct, tape

The reason i’m old and wise is because god protected me when i was young and stupid

I don’t know how to act my age, I’ve never been this age before