Quotes Funny (1291 Designs)

As a short woman, I can be stubborn as a mule, sweet as tea, angry as a hornet, or loyal like a soldier. It all depends on you.

I watch people and wonder how some of them found their way out of the birth canal.

No one needs to be less white, black or brown. Please just focus on being less dumb.

Some people are like a bag of Pampers: self-absorbed & full of crap.

When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard work, I’m no longer young.

Sometimes my humbleness makes people think they can play with me.

If we switched back to cursive and stick shift vehicles we could cripple an entire generation

Nope, I can’t go to hell Satan has a restraining order against me

I’m not old I can still remember my childhood phone number but can’t remember the password I created yesterday

I don’t like to think before I speak I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes outta my mouth

Cranky woman with big boobs Hated by many Loved by plenty Heart on her sleeve Fire in her soul

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that think I’m freakin stupid

I’m pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me as she paints her nails, rolls her eyes and mutters under her breath “How did I get stuck with this one?”

Mean people don’t bother me a bit Mean people who disguise themselves as nice people bother me a lot

Do not give Rice Krispies to young children I ate them as a youngster Now when I stand up

Sometimes I gotta feed people some bullcrap just to see who they run back and tell

I am who I am Like me, love me Take me, leave me Know that I’m a true friend to the end

If you mess with me you better run for your life because my grandpa is coming after you & grandma’s coming with him

I wonder why we are so obsessed with finding intelligent life on other planets when we can’t even find intelligent life on this planet.

I maybe getting older but that does not mean I have to be boring and act my age

I’m glad I grew up in the 80’s I did so much stupid stuff And there’s no record of it anywhere

Has my mouth gotten me in trouble? Yup Has it pushed some people away? Yup Am I going to stop speaking my mind?

Skilled workers are hard to find That’s why idiots are promoted to management

At this point I’m convinced some people were put on the planet just to test my anger management skills

As I have grown older I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake

This cranky short woman doesn’t seek revenge She moves on and let karma do the dirty work

I’ve reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me

If I woke up and nothing hurt I would think I was dead

You will never find another me Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing But it’s the truth

Skilled workers are hard to find. That’s why morons are promoted to management.

Blood stains are red. Ultraviolet lights are blue. I watch enough murder show. They’ll never find you.

Saying what you feel, it’s not being rude. It’s called being real.

I’m a cranky short woman. Don’t test me. I will put you in the trunk and help people look for you.

Short chubby girl problem #24: When the sun visor doesn’t even help when you’re driving.

If I could go back in time, I would leave some people right where I found them.

I don’t have a short temper. I just have a quick reaction to stupid people.