Quotes Funny (1381 Designs)

Fourteen Markers on my desk and Thirteen Are Dried Out

I Know A Radio Station in every state and A Diner In Every Town

One Look At That Guilty Face and I know Somebody Found The Trash

Just Mopped The Floor my dog took that As An Invitation

The Bowl Is Full but the middle is visible So Apparently We're Starving

Cat On My Lap so I guess I Live Here Now Someone Bring Snacks

I Don't Fill A Plate I Build One layer by layer with Gravy As The Cement

This Fruitcake has been passed around Since 1998 Nobody Has Opened It

Hold My Ladder is how my husband starts Every Single Bad Idea

My Husband Kicks The Tires like they're going to Tell Him Something

I Spend More Time Polishing Chrome than I spend Talking To People

My Cooler Is Packed with sandwiches, ice and Pure Hope The Fish Are Optional

Nurse Poker Face trust me I've heard Way Worse Before Breakfast

Touch My Stapler and you'll be joining The Kids In Time Out

Lunch Duty Survivor one hundred eighty days of Flying Tater Tots

I Always Sit Closest To The Kitchen it's not rude It's Strategy

Nothing Scares Me except an Open Weigh Station When I'm Running Late

Pumpkin Or Pecan? I'm a grown adult So Obviously I'm Having Both

Official Backseat Driver head out the window and Ears In The Wind

The Dog's Stocking Is Bigger Than Mine and honestly He Earned It

Those Aren't Smudges on my windows they're Nose Art By My Dog

Bought Her Fancy Toys and she still stole My Hair Tie

That Slow Blink means I love you Or Feed Me Probably Feed Me

He Reloads The Dishwasher right after I load it Because There's A System

He Will Carry Every Grocery Bag in one single trip Or Die Trying

Some Nights I don't even ride I Just Sit In The Garage And Admire Her

She Asked How Many I Caught I told her I had A Very Peaceful Day

A Twelve-Hour Shift is just a cute name for Thirteen And A Half Hours

Teacher Life haven't sat down Since 7:45 Lunch Was Eleven Minutes

I Don't Yell I just give The Look And Thirty Kids Go Quiet

Ten States eleven hundred miles And Still Home For Sunday Dinner

Picked Up The Leash without a sound and He's At The Door Before I Turn Around

Bought A Queen Bed the dog gets Two Thirds I Get The Edge

Every Video Call my cat insists on Joining The Meeting

Opened A Book and my cat decided That Page Is Now Her Bed

Already Planning My Leftover Sandwich and we haven't even Said Grace Yet