Funny Sayings (476)

Yes I'm spoiled but not by you by a Grumpy Old Husband Who'd Fight You

my happy place is the Hardware Store my sad place Is The Checkout

I'm an Electrician I fix what your husband Tried To Fix

Electrician Rates $50 an hour $75 if you watch $100 if you help $200 If You Tried It First

Mechanic Rates $80 an hour $100 if you watch $150 If You Tell Me How To Do It

I'm a Grumpy Old Mechanic I'll fix your car but not Your Attitude

I'm a Farmer I get up early work all day And Still Can't Afford Retirement

Some guys chase women I chase Cows That Got Out Again

Measure twice cut once then Cuss Three Times

while you're hiding from the storm I'm Climbing Into It Lineman

Proud Firefighter's Wife he runs into fire I run The House

CNA caring nursing assisting Exhausted

These hands built your House your road And Your Bad Back

I'm in HVAC I make people hot when they're cold And Cold When They're Rude

My kitchen My Rules if you don't like it Make Your Own

I'm a Mail Carrier I've survived more dogs than You've Met

Retired I worked 40 Years to sit in this Recliner

Cowboy up before the sun in bed after The Cows Every Single Day

I'm a Grandpa and a veteran too old to fight Too Old To Run So I Just Stare

proud Lineman's Wife storms come he goes I Pray

Big Sister Rules 1. I'm always right 2. see rule 1 Mom Agrees

I'm the Little Sister I don't break the rules I Get Away With Them

I'm the brother it's my job to Annoy You For Life

I annoy my sister but if you hurt her you'll meet the Older Brother Nobody Warned You About

I'm the Best Friend I'm also the Alibi

we'll be Best Friends until we're old and then we'll be Old Friends Causing Trouble

A good friend bails you out a best friend Is Sitting Next To You In Jail

Middle Child the one mom Forgot To Worry About

We don't Gossip we just Share Updates loudly

I tease my Sister because I love her A Little Too Much

When we're old we'll be the Grandmas who Started The Fight At Bingo

I don't have friends I have Crazy People who Like Me

My brother can fix Anything with Duct Tape And Prayer

Cousin Crew making Family Reunions loud since Forever

Warning I come with a Best Friend who has no Filter

I'm the Cool Aunt I spoil them then Send Them Home