Funny Sayings (693)

Don't mess with me my Grandpa is a grumpy old man with a bad hip, a short temper and a Shovel He knows places Nobody will ever look

Warning I have a Crazy Wife and I'm not afraid to Use Her

Marriage is just two people fighting over the Thermostat Forever

my husband says it's hunting season I say it's Finding My Keys Season

I'm the wife so I'm Always Right and when I'm wrong See Above

sorry ladies this grumpy old man is taken by a Crazy Wife who scares me Just Enough

It's not a dad bod it's a Father Figure With Snacks

I hate being this handsome but I'm a Bearded Old Man so I can't Help It

Yes I'm spoiled but not by you I belong to a Grumpy Old Grandpa who'd fight a Bear for me

I'm not grumpy I'm just a Retired Man who's been Awake Since 5

Honey Do List 1. fix the sink 2. fix the door 3. fix the fence 4. Hide in the garage

I'm Old but I'm not slow I just Don't Care enough to Hurry

My wife says I never listen or something Like That

Good men still exist I know because I Married One he's grumpy, stubborn And All Mine

I said I Do I didn't know it meant Do Everything she asks

we've been married so long we don't argue We Just Glare

Man Cave Rules 1. it's my cave 2. see rule 1 No Exceptions

My husband doesn't snore he just Dreams He's A Motorcycle

I've earned my Senior Discount and my Attitude you can have Neither

Don't talk to me until I've Had My Coffee and even then Maybe Don't

I still got it I just Forget Where I Put It

I married a man who owns Every Tool and can't find A Single One

My schedule wake up drink coffee complain Nap complain again Repeat

I'm not the princess I'm the Queen Bow Down Or Go Home

my husband wanted me to be his fishing buddy now he has A Bait Supplier With Opinions

My husband Retired now I have Two Jobs and zero Peace And Quiet

Retired my job now is napping, snacking and judging people from my Front Porch

I'm a man of few words No is one of Them

My husband never gets lost we just take The Scenic Route For 3 Hours

I'm not hoarding it's called Craft Supplies Mind Your Business

I'm not a sweet little old lady I'm a Grumpy Old Woman who was a Wild Child

Old Man with a lap perfect for Grandkids, Dogs and Leftover Pie

I'm the reason Grandpa has grey hair and the reason He Smiles

I don't need your approval I already have a Wife Who Disagrees

Be afraid when a wife goes Quiet She's Planning

I have a Bearded Husband he's grumpy he's hairy He's Mine