Funny Sayings (851)

I'm not Retired I'm just Santa in the off season

This Is My Ugly Christmas Sweater I'm Not Changing

I'm Mrs. Claus he has the sleigh I Have The Credit Card

Jesus is the Reason for the Season

Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year

Promoted to Uncle fun level Unlocked

Promoted to Auntie spoiling Starts Now

limited edition Vintage 1966 60 years of Being Awesome All Original Parts

limited edition Vintage 1976 50 years of Being Awesome Still Running

limited edition Vintage 1956 70 years of Being Awesome Slightly Rusty

limited edition Vintage 1986 40 years of Being Awesome Not Old Yet

I'm not 60 I'm 18 with 42 Years Experience

50 And Fabulous and slightly Tired

It took me 70 Years to look This Good

80 years old still Sassy still Right About Everything

I'm not Over The Hill I'm on top Enjoying The View at 40

I don't need therapy I just need to Go Fishing

my wife said if I go fishing one more time She'd Leave Me I'm Gonna Miss Her

Retired gone fishing be back Never

Behind every great fisherman is a Bigger Story About The One That Got Away

Weekend forecast Fishing with a chance of Beer

Hunting Season the most Wonderful Time of the Year

I'm a Hunting Widow every November I'm Single Again

Deer Camp where the coffee's hot the stories are Mostly True

I'm a Happy Camper as long as There's Coffee And No Bugs

Camping is just Day Drinking in the Woods

I'm not dirty I'm Gardening There's A Difference

Gardening because Murder is Wrong

I'm a Car Guy I can hear A Bad Engine from a mile away

Old trucks and Old Men still Running Strong

Quilting it's cheaper Than Therapy barely

I'm not Good At Golf I'm just here for The Cart And The Beer

Eat Turkey Eat Pie take a nap Eat More Pie

When My Wife Says Five Minutes I go ahead and Start A New Hobby

I Don't Need Therapy I just need A Quiet Lake and a Tight Line

my wife said pick me or Fishing I'll miss her Every Weekend