Funny Sayings (677)
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My retirement plan wake up drink coffee Fix Things That Aren't Broken
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With age comes wisdom and Bad Knees and zero Patience
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Thirty years of marriage taught me Two Words Yes Dear
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My husband can build Anything except An Apology
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I don't need therapy I just need My Garage And Silence
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Lie to me once and I'll remember it Forever With Dates
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Don't mess with Old Guys we didn't get this old by Being Nice
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in this house the remote belongs to the Husband the TV belongs to The Wife
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Behind every good man is a woman Rolling Her Eyes So Hard
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my morning routine coffee three pills and a Bad Mood Till Noon
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all I need is my truck my dog and a wife who Lets Me Keep Both
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I married My Best Friend now I'm stuck with Him Forever and I'd do it Again
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You can't scare me I have a Grandpa with a bad back A Good Aim And Time
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My husband helps around the house he lifts his feet When I Vacuum
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I'm a sweet wife with a side of Salty Attitude
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Old man Weather Report it's hot it's cold my knees hurt Get Off My Porch
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Proud husband of a Freakin' Awesome Wife yes she bought me This Shirt
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If I can't fix it with Duct Tape it's not Broken Enough
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Grandparents are just parents who finally Stopped Caring
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I'm the wife I keep this family Organized and quietly Unhinged
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I'm a Grumpy Old Man my sarcasm comes free but my patience Costs Extra
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I'm not old I'm a Classic still running on Original Parts
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Husband part time Lawn Mower full time Nap Taker
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I don't nag I just Remind you Repeatedly Lovingly
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I'm at the age where I Don't Care and the age where I Say It Out Loud
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I still lift weights it's called Getting Up Off The Couch
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my husband yells at the TV like the players Can Hear Him Every Sunday
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If I text you and you don't answer I Will Assume You're Dead
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We're a Crazy Old Couple he's grumpy I'm moody Perfect Match
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I'm the Grandson of a woman who Survived Everything you are Not A Problem
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sweet smart spoiled and backed by A Crazy Grandma Choose Wisely
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my husband can grill Anything except a Salad
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Not A Morning Person not an Afternoon Person basically just A Nap Person
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He's the Boss of this house I'm the Boss Of Him
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Retired man I'm busier now than when I Got Paid For It
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proud member of the Old Fart Club we meet early Leave Early
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